Monday, July 06, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Michael Jackson, 1958 - 2009
I'm still in shock. In fact, everyone is.
The legend has left us at a very early age.
Rest in peace MJ...
You'll always be the 'King of Pop'
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Turning 21 might be a big deal to some people.
One of the examples is the key to freedom or the age of turning point. and of course, being an adult; legal or whatever you guys might call it.
Oh well, freedom for me started quite early. And I'm not even proud to say like that. seriously.
I guess, it's norm to me this birthdays and all. I don't really have big celebrations before this.
Like I never threw a birthday party at pits or chalets or at clubs. Nah. I guess I'm just not too fond of making a big fuss out of birthdays. I prefer spending them with my loved ones.
The only birthday I could vividly remember for now was my 19th birthday. I spent it with my best gf,wawa and my boyfriend at that point of time. We went to zoo. Yes, zoo. My all-time favorite place. Haha. Come on, it's one of Singapore's main attraction what...I've always like going there since I was a little girl. Best birthday I could ever asked for. Spending it with my two favorite people at that time. 3 was nvr a crowd. Both of them got along very well , even planned and tricked me. Yes yes always must 'sabo' the birthday girl/boy then comes the FUN in it. ya and they and even discussed between themselves what to buy me for my birthday present. Almost not secretive at all. Hehe. I still remember em leaving me somewhere while they searched for my present. Haha. I already expected something amiss but it was somehow kinda touching ya know.
Now that I'm single, bf-less and most of my gfs are busy with their own stuffs, I think this time round I be spending my birthday alone. Oh yes I'll be working too. Bummer. And FYI this June 4th, is not only my birthday falls on that particular day, it also means I'm officially 7 mths single. 7 FREAKING MONTHS! So far, my longest! Am I PROUD? HELL YEAH! Quite an achievement I must say.
This 7 mths period has taught me alot of being single. I learnt alot about myself. AND GUYS! of course. They come and go. Yet, I'm still hanging in there. Stronger as ever...not particularly looking for a serious relationship just yet but there's potential someone definitely lingering in my mind erk, like all the time. HINT! HINT! heh! Thou times like this, makes me feel peer-pressured and insecure coz most of my friends be it guys or girls are either in a serious relationship (long-term ones uh), engaged, gonna get engaged, married or gonna get married. It's like I'm surrounded with couples everywhere. I'm nowhere close to any of this statuses, 'attached' 'married' 'engaged'. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm still looking for that someone. my mr.right.
Anyways, enough of my rantings. I'm thankful to have at least a job for now. Still looking for a stable one thou. That's all I'm asking for. oklah, gotta hit e shacks now. Night beatiful people.
Labels: t
Sunday, May 24, 2009
The first thing Edi said to me when he fetched me yesterday was "I'm glad to see you after 1 week! You don't know how badly I miss you sey!" Awwwwww...
We made our way to Kallang Leisure Park. The place is totally new. Thou I must say the 'inside' is abit dead. Not like Parkway Parade. Hmm, I think the only main attraction is the Kallang ICE World. The initial plan was to go ice-skate, according to some source, it's the only ice-skating rink left in Singapore and it's quite big actually. We thought of bowling there but it looked like the alleys were already damn packed with families. Bummer! So we settled for the drive-thru KFC at Kallang since both of us were famished.
Walked around Kallang and spent some quality time at the bridge...
He has been more loving than ever and more expressive with his feelings since the accident a few days ago. We then proceeded to The Cathay and we managed to catch the 1.30am show.
NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2. Love the movie. Love Ben Stiller. Uber hilarious.
This is for you Edi Mirza.
Thank you for always being there for me. You've been a great companion and a great friend. I love having you around. I love just being with you. The other day when you got into an accident was the day I realised I am scared of losing you. Even though we're nothing more than just friends; you are someone so SPECIAL in my heart now. Since the first day we met, you cared for me like no other. I am indeed very thankful. It hurts me when I see your abrasions last night. I don't wanna lose you di...Once again, thank you for the beautiful night.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Kris Allen is the winner of American Idol. WOW. Unexpected. Really! The underdog won.
Thou Adam Lambert has e more powerful voice; thought he would get the title.
Anyhoos, Kris is super cute lor...too bad he's already married lah.
American Idol was awesome. Rocks my socks! Can't wait for Singapore Idol now. Hee.
And, to Ayim...I think karma backfired on me babe. I already knew this was coming.
You never hurt me...you never did. Maybe I deserved all this. Just as when I'm falling for you all over again, You're walking away with your problems. I miss you so much Ayim...I know you're going through a hard time right now so I'm not gonna ask or say much to you anymore. For now, I'm gonna pretend this never happen. That was truly my last message to you babe and I mean every single word I said. I wish you all e best in whatever you do hun. You deserve someone better than me. Don't forget me please coz I definitely won't forget you. You've been a part of me almost this 3 years. Nothing but a good and sincere friend. I LOVE U AYIM. I'm sorry. You take good care of yourself ok. IMY...
P.s I guess what we planned on my birthday will nvr happen huh
This is e last photo I have of you. Sorry flash melebih.
"Aku tahu ku bwk diri ini utk kebahagiaan kita berdua"
Thursday, May 21, 2009
The news on today's Newpaper front page really shocked the hell out of me.
How could a person do such a inhumane thing to a kid who is barely 3.
Seriously, is the man or better yet be called, AN ANIMAL insane or what?!
JEALOUS COZ HIS GF PAID MORE ATTENTION TO HER SON THAN HIM?!
What fucking lame excuse is that now you tell me.
This brings back to the case of Nonoi a few years back. similar case.
Come on people, what's with this men and abusing the small kids. PICK ON SOMEBODY YOUR OWN SIZE! This is what I call, HEARTLESS!
Tak berhati perut langsong. Perangai barbaric! He should be hung to death don't you think so...urgh. It really makes me mad to hear this kinda news especially when it's our own race we're talking abt. MELAYU TK PAKAI OTAK KAPER?!
That aside, I'm trying to upload the redbull x-fighters videos but my lappy just don't want to open the files. Bah! Never mind, I will try again! No worries Okay!
Btw, I'm not feeling too good lately. My wisdom tooth, the one on the left! is growing back out again. it will grow bit by bit, slowly by slowly, then it'll stop again. and will continue to grow back again! urgh. exruciatingly painful. thou extracting it was never my option. wouldn't want to fork out alot of money just for that. have to endure the pain after all. AND I MISS AYIM so much. He's going through a hard time now and I feel for him. I need him to tell me that I'll be okay again. I need him. I miss him. gosh I think too much.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
This is so freaking cool. Looking forward to this big event.
Even Edi can't stop talking about it. I suggested him to go public thou if we wanna avoid the congestion and human traffic. Confirm confirm the fanatics bikers will be there.
But he was against my idea coz simply, this clever fella wants to copycat and do freestyle stunts on his drz just like em!!!!!! Macam paham je nk feeling motorcross. Kononnyer nak belajar dari dorg lah tu. Chet! IMYSM gila.
Anyway, I just got off the phone with dearest Ayim.
Busy watching his game. Man u lah ape lagi kan...so I shall not disturb him.
Can't wait for the weekends. Gonna meet my two favorite boys. =)
Hitting the shack now... Besok kerja. Sweet nightmares...
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Currently watchin Arsenal vs Chelsea game. Before this was Manutd. -_-'
I think my hair is getting drier and drier each day. Right that's so random.
Been busy looking for a proper full-time job. I think I'm okay if I settle with an office job.Lucky for me I'm working part-time now...I desperately need the smackeroos to pay off my debts and bills. Oh Oh and also do abit of shopping ya know. Need new shoes, sandals and I'm thinking of getting myself an expensive bomber from AX or ZARA. (:
Friday night, after work...met Ayim and friends at Clarke Quay. Headed to Zirca/Rebel. Some DJ from the UK was invited I think. Thank u Ayim for the generous food and drinks you!! *big hug* Lately, I've been meeting Edi like almost every night that I feel so guilty each time it rains here. He would be stucked here with me. Says he doesn't mind. He loves having me around.
Kononnyer romantic lah kan...hujan2 and we're both spending "quality time" together.
Last night was happening, we watched Liverpool's game at Bras Basah.WE WON.Lol.Quite a number of Liverpool fans and everywhere we went last night, we bumped into his motart members...Ni lah, bdk2 motart drz.sikit2 nk wheely jeee.kemarok kn. Haiyo! Oh Oh have you guys watched Jangan Tegur yet? Go catch IT while you still can. I think this is the best malay horror movie so far by Admad Idham. Good storyline...Thanks for the movie treat Edi.
Btw,to awa! I can't seem to tag at your tagboard. Da lamer kn tk nmpk kau! Hehe.Lamer sia time sembawang drc dulu.ingat lagi kau pt aku eh.Haha.Aku selalu jgk trn bukit panjang.tk nmpk kau pun!!! hehe.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO MAMA!!! ILYSMBtw,to awa! I can't seem to tag at your tagboard. Da lamer kn tk nmpk kau! Hehe.Lamer sia time sembawang drc dulu.ingat lagi kau pt aku eh.Haha.Aku selalu jgk trn bukit panjang.tk nmpk kau pun!!! hehe.
Monday, April 27, 2009
My date with ayim was postponed to Saturday instead.
Saturday night with him was spent at Wisma Indochine.
Watched soccer with his friends. Oh well, his friends are mostly bartenders there so yeah.hee.This anak is a big die-hard fan of man utd...they won last night's game against spurs, 5-2. Before that, we made a deal that if man utd wins, i'll have to owe him 5 dates. according to the score uh. hahaha.gerams. after soccer, thought of catching the midnight show at cineleisure.it was either friday the 13th or jangan tegur.tk jadi plak lah kan...dont know why we both were too fickle i guess.so we headed to botak jones youth park...too bad, we came in 3.05am.they closed at 3 sey...we settled on satay n prawns instead...
after town, we made our way down to cck. chilled with my kuz n faz. happy giler eh kitorang.abg ayim kita blanja mac lah..."terima kasih abg ayim"haha.(inside joke)he keeps feeding me lah sey.omg stuffing me with all kinds of food.jadi kiter bole gemuk samer2 eh awk.we got home at 6am.he texted me mushy2 stuff otw back.omg it's so unlike him...he says he's scared coz he's falling for me... :( i told him im scared too...gosh...
K i'm watching LA INK now.I LOVE KAT VON'D.CAN I GET INKED BY HER?PREETY PLEASEEE.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
First and foremost, kepada topi merah yg pt atas tuuu.
yg cute banget yg never fail to make me smile mcm org tk btol every single day. aku rindu kau giler. aku tk sabar nk jumpe kau hari friday ni.haha lol.da potong rmbt eh...da jadi punk khianat eh...jage kau...hehe! im gonna kill u if u shave off u beard away ayim! or should i say, OLD MAN! hehe.sori kwn2 aku miang sikit mlm ni,cant stop smiling to myself, and looking at his photos especially yg pt atas tuuu.cute nye kau pakai topi...haha topi eh.u u pakai cap cute uh!!
alah doesnt matter, u tk pakai cap pun i suke.tetap i terpikat.mcm u terpikat pt i 2 years ago! haha k2 stop it eh ida.miang betul!and he surprised me by calling me just now at work.omg i was so ecstatic to hear his voice today.even if it was only for awhile.boy you know you are making me fall hard for u.seriously...im scared...i know you are too...that explains ur insecurities coz of our age difference. -_-
i dont give a damn abt it.so what if there's a huge gap kn.if we're meant to be together then be it.if not, then it's okay.biar takdir yg menentukan jodoh kita.to me, age doesn't matter...chey aku bbl mcm phm.padehal baru considering ni kiter nye 3rd date keluar, after 2 years plus of knowing each other now then kiter start dating. bah! woot i can't wait for friday seriously...heee.
to me gfs, you know who you are. IMYSM sey!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Okay I might sound and behave like a schoolgirl all over again so bear with me people.
Coz I think I got a huge crush on someone. Like really huge HUGE.
Everytime I see his name calling me on my cell, I get butterflies in my stomach and my heartbeat just skipped a beat. Since the first time we laid eyes, I already know I'm crushing on him. Can't wait to meet you again tonight.*blushes*
And I've always believed in KARMA.
So hopefully this time round, good things will come my way...I'm all smiles for now.
PS. Missing my baby sister so much
Thursday, March 19, 2009
This heart feels so empty.
Disappointment after disappointment.
As some of you might know, I'm typing this with a heavy heart, with a broken smile and full of empty hopes and promises.
If you happen to come across my blog...just wanna tell you that
I miss your hugs. I miss every single thing about you.
Sadly, you don't feel the same way I do...
The silence has been killing me for over a week; the endless waitings are forever painful
and I can't take this anymore. I'm breaking free.
I miss you too much & Loving you hurts it makes me wanna cry sometimes I swear.
Even right now, my eyes are already tearing up just thinking of you...
Whenever I think of you, I'm all weak and sappy.
Till now, I'm still clueless for what I've done wrong to you...
I'm sorry if I've hurt you in any way before this. I really am.
If only you could tell me the truth, even though I know it will hurt me eventually some way or another. Maybe you've got your own reasons for behaving this way, I accept everything that has happened. You broke my heart hun...you took away this heart with you...I waited too long for you and I'm not sure if I should wait for you anymore. If only you could give me a sign.
I've tried to fight for your love. But sadly, I lost. So I'm letting you go now...imy :'(
Disappointment after disappointment.
As some of you might know, I'm typing this with a heavy heart, with a broken smile and full of empty hopes and promises.
If you happen to come across my blog...just wanna tell you that
I miss your hugs. I miss every single thing about you.
Sadly, you don't feel the same way I do...
The silence has been killing me for over a week; the endless waitings are forever painful
and I can't take this anymore. I'm breaking free.
I miss you too much & Loving you hurts it makes me wanna cry sometimes I swear.
Even right now, my eyes are already tearing up just thinking of you...
Whenever I think of you, I'm all weak and sappy.
Till now, I'm still clueless for what I've done wrong to you...
I'm sorry if I've hurt you in any way before this. I really am.
If only you could tell me the truth, even though I know it will hurt me eventually some way or another. Maybe you've got your own reasons for behaving this way, I accept everything that has happened. You broke my heart hun...you took away this heart with you...I waited too long for you and I'm not sure if I should wait for you anymore. If only you could give me a sign.
I've tried to fight for your love. But sadly, I lost. So I'm letting you go now...imy :'(
"Biarlah aku disini mengubati luka di hati
Setia aku disini...menanti dan terus menanti
walau apa pun dugaan akan tetap ku harungi
sehingga...nadiku terhenti"
Setia aku disini...menanti dan terus menanti
walau apa pun dugaan akan tetap ku harungi
sehingga...nadiku terhenti"
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
I seriously miss my freaking straight & smooth hair.
Damn it!
Don't mind the 'vainpot' photos...Oh well, ME being ME of course. These photos were taken way back some time last year where my saturday nights were mostly spent with my cousin, Ain at Shell/7-11 since she's working there part-time. I didn't mind accompanying her while she was working, even thou my saturday nights would always get 'burnt'. The fact that I sanggup ditched my dates and rather spent time with her seriously brought us so much closer. I got to share my problems with her and vice versa. Without doubt, my saturday nights used to be so fun and enjoyable.
I do miss her. I don't really know why and how we got drifted apart...but I swear I miss having her around sometimes. Once in awhile, I'd think back of those days when you confided in me when your sister wasn't around to be there for you...you know what, to me, you were strong then. Till now, I can't bring myself to text or call you. We've all changed as times go by...Perhaps someday we cousins could prolly meet up again and clear things up. The three of us, just like ol' times. Like they always say, blood IS definitely thicker.
And people, when INSOMNIA strikes.
I can only sleep at 6am tops nowadays. No idea why.
Feeling so ever miserable lah sey coz I'm missing alot of people...
*shouts* R.I.N.D.U
To NADHIR, please take good care of youself in there okay bro.
Happy happy enlisting you...CDA here I come yo. Nvm that you're turning 23 and abit late to go NS, you're still my number one braderrr. Hee. (:
Saturday, March 07, 2009
"I know sometimes it's gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now
coz I can't sleep through the pain"
So basically I just got back and I'm freaking pissed coz I've been shouting at the top of my lungs I almost slammed my handphone down.
How I wish I could call my boyfriend and just let it all out...
Too bad he's busy with work I guess... :(
Anyways, recently I hooked up with a friend's best friend...
This Afad guy claimed he was single yada yada yada.
So we went out since I've known him for quite some time already but never really got a chance to talk till we bumped into each other again at dbl o.
Then exactly a day after, I got to know he's attached.
His girlfriend called me and we got into a huge tiff. It turned out she saw my messages and our picture taken in the club.
She was calling me all sorts of names. omg. MAJOR DRAMA this girl.
I know how she feels. I mean I've been there before but there's no need for name calling.Get your facts right first babe. Blame your own boyfriend who went to dbl o behind your back and cheated on you. Blame him.Not me. As far as I'm concerned, my guilty conscience is clear.
Her boyfriend was too speechless to utter a single word when I sound him. Now she's turning the tables back on me for causing them to break up.
I swear I have nothing to do with all this.
If you were in my shoes, what would you do?
I already tried talking nicely to her even she though her mockings were like fuck.
I thought I can take the insults but not anymore...its seriously getting out of hand.
And you AFAD. I was this close to putting your photo here. Just to warn the other girls out there. YOU JERK. Enough of all this SHIT.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
When will the rain ever stop?
Seriously it's ruining my "date" for tonight.
Hah! Yeah right. So much of a date.
I'm currently waiting for dearest Ayim to pick me up tonight.
Since it's raining heavily, he has to wait for his dad to come home so that he can drive instead of ride. It be dangerous if both of us were to ride in this kind of weather.
Ayim just called to ask me whether he could bring a friend.
His poly girl friend. Apparently, he likes this girl...
So I said its okay. I don't mind.
This isn't my first time being a lamp post if you know what i mean.
Definitely won't be my last.
Sad huh. Tu lah hidup tanpa boyfriend. Boo hoo.
Seriously it's ruining my "date" for tonight.
Hah! Yeah right. So much of a date.
I'm currently waiting for dearest Ayim to pick me up tonight.
Since it's raining heavily, he has to wait for his dad to come home so that he can drive instead of ride. It be dangerous if both of us were to ride in this kind of weather.
Ayim just called to ask me whether he could bring a friend.
His poly girl friend. Apparently, he likes this girl...
So I said its okay. I don't mind.
This isn't my first time being a lamp post if you know what i mean.
Definitely won't be my last.
Sad huh. Tu lah hidup tanpa boyfriend. Boo hoo.
I was watching making the band 4 the other night on MTV.
Que and Dawn are so lovey-dovey.
Looking at em makes me blush everytime they say those three words to each other.
They give hugs&kisses every five minutes. Macam romantic giler gitu.Gosh I miss being in love. Really.
I forgot how love can make one lose control like that. Oh how I miss having the jitters and
butterflies in my stomach...
And I miss that someone terribly. I know I shouldn't... :'(
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Suddenly.
I have this urge to blog.
Yes. Out of the blue. Lord, look at the last time I blogged!
It was bloody freaking September last year.
What was I thinking. Leaving my blog inactive for months like that.
It's very unhealthy you know! Thousand of Apologies.
I bet no one comes here and view anymore I think? Da basi kan blog aku.
Thou anonymous taggers, hmm I wonder where they come from.
As for the double o issue, I won't let the matter rest. Absolutely NOT after alot of people have been involved. And just for the record, that night was nothing compared to the 4 years of abusive beatings and mockings from you. You think you've won BUT for sure this isn't over babyboy. This time it's really WAR. For now, I will let you do your own "thing" first ya. (:
So I met Ayim last night.
After what has been like centuries since we last met.
I was disturbing his six-packs. Hah! Sukerr!!!
I miss that boy so bloody damn much...
As usual, he has always been the only one interested in my love life and all.
He asks way too many questions. Omg kalah perempuan.
Like who I'm dating right now...Do I have any crushes on anybody...
The conversation went something like this:
Ayim: "skrg tkde org kau minat ke? atau tkde laki minat pt kau ke?"
Me: "Haha! Taufik jek uh sape lagik kn. You know me..."
Ayim: "Tu sumer org da tawu da. Org sumer da naik jelak lah...sape skrg...faisal pe?"
(faisal is his childhood friend who happens to be my ex)
Me: (I was laughing real hard) "Dia da patah balik pt ex dia lah! Aku ni kirekn tempat persinggahan. mcm singgah selalu gitu. nah i think its Karma uh. Backfires back on me"
Ayim: "SIYAK! Kirekn dulu kau buat gitu?main2 kan perasaan lelaki?"
Me: "Tu dulu...tapi skrg...aku tkde niat pun nk main2kn perasaan lelaki. bila aku nk setia
dia yg TERsidetrack sikit."
Ayim: "Ni mesti ade org da kecewakan hati syg aku ni...kan...that guy u are crushing patched things up with his ex and disappointed u huh....Tu lah dulu aku suruh bermesra lagi dgn aku, kau tk nk.jual mahal."
Basically. After that, he went on saying if he were some other guy, he would be all faithful to me.
Hah! Nonsense je ni budak.
After I broke up with Faisal, I have nothing but love for this boy.
He has been my pillar of strength. My guy friend in bad times and also in good times indeed. I seriously can't describe to you people how much I need him in my life.
I still remember how the first time he had his first serious gf in sec school. I was freaking jealous coz I thought he had forgotten his best friend. I even blocked his number so that he couldn't get through me. That really showed how clingy I was and simply childish of me. Haha!
We've been best friends coming to 8 years now. So Solid like that.
And We both jolly well know that if we were to be together, it will feel damn odd and definitely awkward. It'll feel totally wrong. Just dont wanna ruin this special friendship we have.
Anyway, I was telling him I already wished that guy whom I had a crush on all the best with his relationship. May he last long with his ex. SO HARD I TELL YOU SO HARD. I had to hold back my heavy-heartedness and put up a brave front. Maybe his ex needs him more than I do. =_='
Oh Oh. Recently, I dreamt I met the ex at my blk. Oh who else. The one who has made headlines in my life. The one who has made me oh so famous at double o. Boges oh boges.
So in my dream, we were talking as per normal...it was as if we were on good terms...he was on his bike...and I was leaning against him. Omg Then, my mum and dad came approaching us. He took my hand and kissed my forehead. LMAO~. Then the next thing I knew, I was awakened by my DAD calling for my name at the top of his lungs. "IDA BANGUNNNN!!! DA PUKUL BERAPE KAU MASIH TDO LAGII MELAMPAU!!!" Argh...sebok jeee...I got up and there! I felt pain in my chest. I almost wanted to cry. You know that stabbing kinda pain in ur chest. IT WAS THAT "FEELING". It came back. Like I always say, I didnt ask for it. THE FEELING, IT JUST CAME BACK. I had mixed feelings. There were angst and disappointment all jumbled up together. Felt like either my head or my heart was gonna meletup anytime soon. I immediately called Lina up. Sorry babygirl, I disturbed your beauty sleep.
That EMOSHIT aside. I STILL HAVE TO MOVE ON DESPITE THE TOUGH LOVE RIGHT GUYS!
Till next time, (hopefully NOT many many months after) I will blog more okay.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I just did something stupid.
I think I might regret doing just that.
Coz right now tears are dropping like bullets.
IDA NO DOUBT YOU ARE VERY STUPID.
I have to run far far away and hide myself now.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Someone just asked me to marry him.
I'm flattered. Really.
You're such a sweetpie you know that. *blows kisses*
By the way, I'm listening to WARNA 94.2FM right now.
HAH! I know!
I'm getting very excited listening to raya songs.
Nak feeling2 lah...
Where's the semangat people? Heh
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
For once, can I just be a happy girl? Heh.
I'd like to thank Ayim for making me smile and giggle like a fool after
receiving that nonsense sms of his early in the morning.
You sure know how to make a girl like me crinkle.
I just adore boys who are capable of telling jokes not lame but corny ones...
Well of course and making me laugh my hearts out.
I've been talking to wawa on the phone for the past two days.
since I had to attend this course and it's insanely boring can.
Lucky me, I've got her to company me on the phone. (:
Reminiscing the past sure brings back good and old memories of us.
How close we were back then. I miss the good ol times.
While we were back in school. Back where
we both used to work together. Clubbed together.
Oh yes, clubbing...I miss it alot okay!
Speaking of which, I've met one my ex through a friend at a club.
Azman aka Maman.
I still remember the first time he confessed that he developed a crush on me right after
I offered him a can of Baron outside Riverside Point.
He told wawa and fahil first.
I thought he was cute and all but I was attached to Emmy then.
Somehow we still managed to find and steal each others hearts.
Heh, so I heard from a friend that he's married now.
Wow. Initially I was quite surprised but heck, perhaps he's found his true soulmate.
Maman maman, I've always known you as quite the charmer. (;
Anyway all the best and may you lead a blissful marriage dude.
Suddenly I'm thinking of hair extensions and pink highlights for Raya.
Very avril lavigne. Lol.
Well well let's just wait and see...
Till then, I will just keep praying that hopefully someone out there would be kind enough to sponsor me a car license. Heh.
Oh and find me a boyfriend too before raya please??? Pretty pretty pleaseeee
Toodles!
Monday, September 08, 2008
As I sat here alone
Pondering...
What has happened to my life after all this months
I've been too caught up with my own work that I'm anticipating a major breakdown soon
Partly because I thought by keeping myself busy would just make things easier
Will make time fly faster
Will make me forget the past
Sadly I was wrong
Things got worst
And this loneliness which I'm feeling right now is so not helping at all
As I whisper to myself
"aku hanya mampu bersabar dan berdoa.mungkin semua ini terjadi ada hikmah di sebaliknya..."
I must be strong. I have to stay strong. I need to be strong.
Tell me I'm strong. Anyone
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Sometimes
I
Just
Feel
Like
Giving
Up
Thursday, July 03, 2008
This is just a random post so to tell you people out there that I'm still here,
very much alive and kicking balls.
So much has been going on lately. First flight oh my god you name it. Gotta be jakun once in a while you know...First major breakdown in front of the girls at work... (embarassing moments but you gotta give it to them, especially you Sangeetha...I miss you truckloads babe. stop flying already. HaH!) And who can ever forget the first peck on the cheeks ooh thanks to that HOT Abang air controller. (nak naik KTM awk lg bole?)
And last night, after so long...I had my fair share of secrets with Ayim over the phone.
I told him everything...those secrets I've been hiding inside. Yes boy, you know my secrets and now, can I know yours too?
Gosh you know me too damn well don't you.
It's written all over my face. It's him I still want. Fuck.
Till then, don't miss me too much.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
Another love chapter of mine has ended abruptly.
It was all a matter in a change of hearts thou there's still feelings for each other.
Just that, we lost the sparks.
And we hardly have time for each other, coz we're both busy chasing after our dreams.
I can't deny this was by far the hardest goodbye I had to go through B.
Karma is such a bitch aye.
So much for wanting to be true to one person.
Oh well, no one is perfect in this world.
Don't worry I'll manage.
For now, we want to remain as just friends. (:
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Tonight was special baby... <3
Boys...haiya...If da ade PSP dlm tgn, tak lepas. Kiter pt sini pun tak layan. Heh.
Thank you Mohd Fauzee for spending time with me on my birthday even though
it was only for awhile and it was just a simple dinner we had, I really appreciate it. I know you love me to bits man! Haha. And I know you can't live without me. Oh well, what can I say! N I so don't expect you to order for me that kinky yet lavish lingerie gift set from Victoria's Secret, omg I simply love. =p Can't wait on the 10th so that you can drive me around yo. Muax!
Also, not forgetting Ain...my babygirl. Sorry for all the troubles we both have caused you lor.
Haha terima kasih lah banyak2 for entertaining that boy's crap every now and then. He is just too hot-headed sometimes. Omg it's like you can tell right! Bah. This pictures was last Sunday with her after Kak Aini's engagement tingy. (:
Last but not least, HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO ME...haha. No more teen liaoz...Da kakak2 sey...NOT! Eh, Happy Birthday to Angelina Jolie Sexy lips I love too!!! Heh. Half an hour more and it's already my belated lah sey. Thank you gfs/bfs like Syima, Jane, Nadhir, Shasha, Juz, Ayim, Is, Liza, Sue, Azman, Ain, Din, Hafiq, Amin, Yaya, Zura, Kechik & Wan Mohawk for the smses...You people uh, ade sampai on the dot can wished me...woah I'm deeply touched... (:
To that one fella, who called me at 1am and sang me a birthday song with your oh so "soothing voice" Haha! Thanks AYIM... till then, PEACE EVERYONE!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Right now I'm pretty much disgusted with some people's attitudes.
I'm sure Jane agrees with me. Hah!
I don't really care about those shitheads, really! Why bother?
Speaking of shitheads, I simply don't get it. You people uh, what's with the 'trying so hard to portray this good girl gone bad girl image.' I mean, seriously I'm okay with whatever you wanna do coz you're already big enough to think what's right and what's not...but come on woman, don't be such a moronic idiot and go on to tell the whole fucking world and boast about what you've fucking done. (especially to ME!) Time lambat lah makcik. You think I wanna hear all this shit coming from you...Pfffft. Easy said, just do whatever you want coz I don't give a flying fuck.
That aside, Congratulations to Mohammad Fauzee Bin Rahim for passing your class 3/4 TP.
I'm proud of you soulja. (insert: soulja boy song) Love you baby. Can't wait to meet you tomorrow after 5 freaking 'i feel damn sucky & lonely without you' days. Heh.
So sorry for this angst-y entry...BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Psssst...5 more days 5 more days... (:
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Our 2nd anniversary was well spent with the bf I must say. It was nothing special lah ...he just fetched me from work. He surprised me at work with his army uniform and pressies. Like omg. LOL. I thought he would change up first you know. Plus he looked damn shagged. Hurhur.
He got me this bubble dress and a keychain with both our names. Haha. So suweet of him kan...
I've been eyeing this bubble dress at Bugis Street since forever and I seriously couldn't believe he actually bought it for me. Till now, I still can't figure out when he actually went down to Bugis and shopped. He usually has no time sey that soldier. Jangan2 he drove his land rover all the way from Sembawang camp to Bugis tak? Krazeee xia... Thou now I think I look funny in the bubble dress but he says I look cute. =_=' And I got him an AX shirt.
Cost me a bomb okay! Hmph!
See I'm a very very egoistic person when it comes to relationships.
Every time we both fight or argue over the slightest things, I would just slam the phone down just like that. (when he's still talking of course) Then, he would always be the one calling me back until I pick up. Note: UNTIL I PICK UP. So that means I know that he's calling me but I will just ignore his calls. Or he would send me smses like "Why do u keep doing this to me & Bla bla bla..." Heh. Corny stuff. Sometimes can be quite annoyingly irritating.
I'm quite evil kan I know.
So last night, we made a pat that whoever puts down the phone with no reason at all
will get a punishment. Bah. Who wants punishment right?
So...now I've changed abit. I wouldn't want him to think that his girlfriend is always giving him a hard time...Now I've learnt to say "I'm sorry...for putting down the phone like that..." and "I'm sorry for making you angry..." You know, skali skale have to give in to him abit. Cannot always eh. It's all about compromising kan baby. I love you Mohammad Fauzee Bin Rahim. =p
Anyways...these are recent & some outdated pictures with my bitches. Ain & Juz. They are my freaking camwhore bitches. The ones whom I've been hanging out most of the time here at cck. Perch!~ Lol.
Oh, I'm currently in love with this song. The lyrics are so meaningful. And BoysIIMen, can't deny it, they're the best.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Is numbness considered a feeling?
If it is, why don't I remember not feeling anything when you touched me.
Coz when you're with me, you were sometimes there and sometimes not.
I can't figure out what you're thinking most of the time.
I feel so out of my place...thou every time I begin to sulk, you'll always
kiss my forehead and whisper sweet nothings to my ear.
Maybe saying goodbye is not gonna solve anything huh babe.
You and I yearn for each other's love. We still want this don't we.
Let's make this 2nd a special one baby.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Goodbye my love...
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
I didn't get the chance to wish my mum on the special day itself, thou this might be
a lil tad too late I still don't care so HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MUM. I LOVE YOU...
Despite everything or anything I've said to you out of anger or rage, it was no intention of me
to do so. There will always be my guilty conscience. Once again, I love you very much lah.
Hope you like the prezzie i picked out especially for you. (:
Oh, this is just so random.
I was on my way to work this morning while listening to Class 95 Morning Express.
If some of you might know, the two Djs, Flying dutchman and Glenn ong...if they start to talk about something dirty or anything funny on air, usually I would just smile to myself. So...this morning, they were talking about something lah, damn hilarious okay! It was about women drivers and I actually burst out laughing. And I realised it was kinda loud that was why the other passengers were like looking at my direction. Wah laoz! So, this particular guy sitting just opposite me then smiled at me so widely and shook his head. So cute you know...omg...that point of time, I swear I was freaking embarassed lor so I kept my head low...haha...coz all the way I knew he just kept staring at me. I guess he thought I was some kinda freak or what. Maybe he thinks I'm crazy laughing out of a sudden like that. Cannot help it lah. You guys should just start listening to Class 95 Morning Express with those two dudes. They both are freaking jokers...Now it's been like my routine to listen to them everyday on my way to work. Listening to them really makes my day you know. Or shall I say it makes my morning much more joyful. Haha.
Shocking news people. I'm still deciding whether this is called good news or bad news. Right, I just received a letter from prison from that someone. Hmm...you people should prolly know who by now. Mum actually read the letter first before she handed to me...super shocking can. She read the whole thing the extremely long letter yes of course! Then she got all confused and got all worked up. Tsk! Okay won't go into detail about that.
Hmm so that's it I guess. Oh ya...for those people who keep asking me about Kikip/Fauzee. He and I are back on tracks, thou people always think that we're the ON and OFF couple. Actually kan, it's quite true lor! He thinks I'm playing a game. LOOK WHO'S TALKING MISTER! Seriously its getting pretty tiring...I don't know, I'll just let fate decides my destiny. Boo hoo. So cliche! Whatever! Eh, you guys should go and watch What Happens In Vegas. I just love watching romantic comedy flicks especially when there's Ashton Kuther Baby. I say give the movie 9.5/10 popcorns. K chaoz!
Thursday, May 08, 2008
At times like this, when you're feeling so fucking down...
the MOTHER ade sajek nk ckp utk saketkan hati aku ni!!! argh tk paham...
I hate it when she does THIS all the time.
And goodbye fauzee. Thanks for everything YOU...i just love the disappearing act.
Job well done baby. :'(
Friday, April 25, 2008
Sometimes how I wish I could just disappear...
disappear from all this ups and downs of life.
I don't know why I could not help it but I broke down at work just now.
Just thinking about him...oh my god why...
Why is he still on my mind...I keep picturing him every now and then. And the feelings is still there.
I'm being so unfair to my current boyfriend right now.
I know it hurts so much baby.
It's like I wanna give up but no, I still need you in my life...argh.
Just maybe we rushed into things a lil too fast...
Omg I can't believe I'm having second thoughts about us.
Baby, trust me I have no intentions to play with your feelings I swear.
It's just me.
Me me me.
The problems lies within me. Not you.
Like I'm glad we could talked things out over the phone.
I know you sound disappointed with me just now.
Argh, just this morning we were in our own worlds when you sent me to work...how
blissful and thankful I am to you...the love and concern you showed to me...
Then again, I keep going back on my words.
My heart is no longer a whole you know that baby.
I'm trying my best here...I don't wanna lose you you know
But if one day, if you were to leave me, I would understand why...and
Before anything happens, I do apologize from the bottom of my heart.
People, don't get me wrong.
I really want this relationship to work and I really really want to move on.
Seriously.
What is wrong with me.
I just need serious help. :(
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Happy 1st Monthsary Kikip Baby!!!
I feel like cutting my fringe. It's too friggin long already.
Rimas rimas.
Btw, CONGRATS to my babygirl Lina as she is now a qualified cabin crew for Tiger Airways. I love you lah babe.
So, people how? Should I cut my fringe or not? Heh. And I also wanna get some highlights on my hair...red streaks perhaps? Sungguh mentel.dot.com can.
Tiger Airways here I come or what! Haha. Peace people peace. =p
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Yesterday, boyfriend and I had a minor tiff.
He got upset with me coz I didn't fetch him from camp that he went home
straight and slept throughout the whole afternoon. Kuat majok ah ni NSBOY... =P
First time saturday kiter tk jumpe eh mok...heh!
So...I took the opportunity to ask my cousins out to causweway point.Hehe!
So...I took the opportunity to ask my cousins out to causweway point.Hehe!
Just to lepak...and to catch up on old time... (:
Then me being the good girlfriend today, I accompanied him to St. Luke's Hospital
to visit his grandfather who has been transferred there recently to have his therapy sessions.
Oh, his family and whole relatives were also there to celebrate his brother's 21st birthday...
We had swensen's icecream...too bad my handphone died on me when we cut the cake...all the
pictures are in his bro's gf's digicam. Haiya...I only managed snap these photos while we were waiting for his bro&gf to arrive...haha presenting...my boyfie...kikip...fauzeeeeee...tgh kusyuk main PSP.Just look at him and his adorable cousins.Haiya, what can I say. Boys.
I love you kikip baby! Muacks! 2 more days... (:
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
I'm so fucking pissed off right now.
I've had enough of pleasing everyone around me. Be it people at home or at work.
That includes you too boyfriend.
Kau eh, LAST WARNING AKU BAGI KAU jangan sampai ahhhhh...jangan sampai jekkkkkkkkkk k...arghhhh!!!
This is the first that he really made my blood boil up shoot up.
Never, ever say the word AWOL in front of my face then we fight and then try to talk nice things to me. your pretend sucks! and don't ever ever try to be like my ex.
WTF. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. gerams.
and one more thing, nak harapkan kawan lamer peh susah ehhh...mcm suar ah...
seriously aku byk kasi muker pt org, treat korg baek2...bullshit ah...
i seriously have had enough shit for today alone so don't even try to add more shit.